Fun fact, I am an introvert. You would think I have gotten the hang of being around people, engaging in conversation and being super personable but, nah. It's hard for me. While I make it work when I have to, there are days when turning "it" on and off can be extremely draining and exhausting. Sigh, introvert woes. Normally, if I am not being booked to speak around new people, I stick to who and what I know. Boring, right? Through my meditation practice, I've been working on being more open to others and not feeling nervous or out of place in new environments. As of late, I have made an effort to face my social anxiety head on. Particularly around unfamiliar faces and new energy. I am proud to say that the past few Sunday's I have been going out (alone), meeting new people and connecting with fellow creatives. To my surprise, it has not been that terrifying.
The dinner party I was invited to a couple of Sunday's ago was lovely. I am beyond glad that I went. However, when I initially got the email invite I immediately wanted to ask if I could bring Ryan. That's my go-to question when I am invited to events where I know I'll get anxious. Ryan is kind of like my security blanket, not to mention he loves people and is extremely outgoing. Yay! for having a partner who can be your buffer, lol. Boo! for me not being able to be a grown up sometimes and need to walk around with his cozy personality. But I digress. Needless to say, if I can't bring him I am most likely to decline invitations. However, I decided to not take that route on this occasion. I chose to suck it up, go support the maker (Virginia of DeNada Designs) and have a good time. My attitude: if I happened to see someone I know there, great, if not, I will be ok. ANOTE2SELF 101: "Alex, you aren't gonna die from being uncomfortable. Relax!"
To my surprise, I walked in to see quite a few faces that I knew! Ah!! I was stoked. I also tried my best to interact with new folks too. I will say it was hard despite how intimate the group was, but I did OK.
There were also really yummy drinks that helped loosen everyone up a bit!
The setting was amazing and the food was delicious. While I did gravitate more toward the people that I knew, I still felt involved and integrated with the other folks. Like, it wasn't weird. A lot of the anxiety I have comes from being a homebody and really reliant on feeling comfortable. Change is good though. Change is good.
Fellowship is also good, mainly because you never know who you are going to sync and connect with along the way. Learning this in my mid-twenties has been humbling to say the least.
So, to sum it all up: two Sunday's ago I left the house without my security blanket, I met new people, ate good food and DID NOT die from an anxiety attack. Life is good.